Note to self: Format for reporting to the Order, or person(s) coordinating defenses in an Attack.

Role you are performing, Location, threat present, what role is needed.

She broke my trust. That's all there is to it, and though it hurts... immensely, I have to do what I have to do. I only wish she were around to ask her about it, to confront her. But it can't wait, it will only weaken my resolve.

Perhaps when she comes back I will give her a chance to explain, and then I may reconsider. But for now I must do what must be done.

There is a party in Dundee... time to put on my mask and be the me everyone expects to see.

If weapons could talk, what stories would they tell, what secrets would they reveal? Would they whisper of quiet meetings about wild theories? Of ill deeds committed by former owners? Of heroic acts on the battlefield, and the tragic loss of life? Would they cry for us and our troubles? Comfort us when we need it? Or would they scold us for being weak, demanding we improve to protect those we care for?

If weapons could talk, what would they say? Perhaps it IS best they say nothing at all...

Darkness. We all have it within us, yet many shun it, embracing the Light only. And yet the Darkness inside us pours out giving birth to terrors before our eyes. Can we survive on Light alone, or should we embrace the Darkness in the our hearts and becoming something neither Light nor Dark, but something that exists in between? Can we temper the Darkness in our hearts with Light, sharpen the Light with the furious blades of Darkness? Can we truly become Shadow?

Light and Shadow.

Just what are they really. Is all that exists in light good? All that is shadow evil? Some would think so, but between Miranda's words, Azeraphel's words, and even Kane's affection for the anti-light, I have begun to question.

There are the cave ogres for example. Content in their little home, they don't take to raiding Branishor, kidnapping travelers, or anything else. Yet adventurers wander into their home, slaughter them, and take their leader's skull as a prize.

is that just? Is that holy? Or are we the evil to them?

I have much to think on, and perhaps it will give me time to get over my failings regarding the Order.

I screwed up. I always do.

Had a wonderful meeting with Gunthield where he asked if I would support the Order, bring any concerns or suggestions I have regarding to Order to them, to not stir up the crowd against the Order.

Then Hojo asked if anyone had any questions or theories and I shared what I knew. Didn't know he didn't want it asked there, and when he asked me to stop... The crowd took over. Assumed he was silencing me, hiding something, whatever. It became chaos.

Not what I wanted, just wanted to help. *Water splotches scatter the ink here*

I screwed up. I always do.

Going to start working on a pitch for land to the Queen to build my first real shop. Not sure what the cost will be, or even if she will grant permission to build the shop, but what else do I have?

Discussed it earlier with Hojo though, and bounced a few ideas off of him. He also seemed surprised by the plans I had for his suit. Did he think I would put him in fuchsia or something?

Found an interesting flower while journeying seeking answers. It wasn't the answer I expected, but it was the answer I got. Small and starlike, it's beautiful indigo shade is made all the more so by intricate silver designs the more aged the flower becomes.

Showed the flower to a couple I trust. This sacred thing should be protected. I dread the day the others find it and it becomes, as most, an adornment, plucked from it's home until none remain.

Stop giving me orders... Those were his words, the words a friend spoke harshly to me simply because I wanted him to stop making a scene.

Words that got me thinking... just who am I now? Have I lost myself to my own satirical lifestyle? Do I even have a purpose anymore? Or am I just another blade in the lands, just one lavishly dressed.

I think I find myself at a crossroads in my life, and as I sit here pondering the path, I don't think I can head down either path until I decide what I want from life.

Who knew such harsh words would hit me so deep. This is bothersome.